im still sitting all alone, but this time, in the cafeteria. emotions come pouring through again as i watch groups of people sitting, talking and eating. i tried hard to control my tears as i sit alone and write my heart out. i wonder why some people can make friends easily when i cant. i wonder what qualities that they have in them that made them sociable. i wonder why i find it so hard to have close friends. izzit because i keep to myself at all times? izzit because i do not talk first to people? why am i feeling so miserable here at sunway? i feel like im trap, left to drown here....i wanna be the one who is the envy of everyone, to have friends i can count on, to share food with during break and to share gossips around the classroom and cafeteria. i wan somebody to have my share of interests and hobbies, somebody that i noe will remain my best friend despite different classes. i miss my buddies...
sometimes, well mostly on tuesdays i will feel very emotional mayb mostly because i have too many breaks to make me think bout stuffs like this... i wan piggy to be with me, to comfort me when i need him. i told him about this and he said i shd tell my mom about how i feel... im scared! initially my idea of college life was to start over a totally new life, build new friendships and stuffs but because i started in the middle of the month, im totally lost. everybody made friends already and is part of this or that group. yeah, i made friends but during break i cant find anybody to sit with me.. i feel like an outkast during college wid nobody to turn to when i need them...
facing a torturing year ahead, 2008
edited frm journal, 22 jan 2008
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