had my work schedule de other day n looks like im starting work on January 2nd 2008 at Yamaha Pelangi Square!... work 5 days a week i guess n im pretty happy bout da schedule cuz i get 1 weekday off n no need 2 work on sunday!!! yippee!!! ^-^ salary is quite gd ler i must say n hope i can cope wid it ler X_x
been emo this past few days. always watchin chinese soap operas thinking how silly da gurl was 2 cry over her damn boyfriend, i hav to admit it wasnt so silly after all, seeing how i shed some tears for him... i shdnt hav react over anger n blame everything on him. it was my fault too sumhow for not asking n questioning him before scolding him. at that time, all i was thinking was that i saw that comment wid my own eyes n there was no doubt he was da one flirting wid her pretending to be innocent, not caring for my feelings. well i guess it was my fault too mayb he thinks im too busy for him or wadever... over da past few days now i feel as if there is this huge gap between us that separates us into two different worlds. its like he doesnt even bother to ask me how my day was or ask about my hk trip. even when i ask him again yesterday to recheck wid him on his explaination, he simply brushes me off wid short answers. yeah i may seem like i hav dis perfect bf in my head but...i juz feel like he doesnt make an effort to try make things better between us. her bday is comin n she's inviting half da class 2 celebrate wid her. i cant go as i need 2 work but i dunno about him. dunno if its a gd thing if he go or whether its de opposite.. i feel like i cant trust him anymore, always wanting to check on him like im his mother or sumthin. i need to get over dis lack of trusting him cuz its gonna cost a huge damage if i dun fix it. i have no idea wad's my next step is n i guess juz let it be natural like wad he says. i dun care anymore... i need someone or something to vent my problems at n i cant tell my friends or family members, it juz seem too awkward. whenever i lay in bed at nite all i could think of while hugging piggy was how much i missed him eventhough he broke my heart..
Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit. ~Peter Ustinov
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