i've finally realised that....

i've finally realised that:

.::spm is very important to me, regardless of wud other ppl's saying that v can still go in2 college if we hav da MONEY::.
.:: not all relationships are meant to be::.
.::friendship is da most important ship tat was ever built::.
.::bf/gf relationships dun always last, but friendship can last a lifetime::.
.::always read more, laugh more, play more n love more::.
.::if a guy truly loved me, he would hav liked me for who i am::.
.::a guy who really love me would hav walked beside me, be there when i need him n hold me tightly::.
.::da said guy wouldnt be a jerk who always wanted 2 go to de other gender's hse 2 "play'::.
.::a guy who love me wouldnt juz play around n treat me like im invincible when his "buddies" are around::.
.::da guy mentioned wouldnt insult me, whether on purpose or in a joking manner that i look like a pig n that im a rubbish collector::.
.::a guy who love me wouldnt make me cry unnecessarily n make me hate yet love him::.
.::a guy who love me would hav cared truly about me n not treat me like sum "standby" gf::.
.::a guy who love me would hav made me his princess n not flirt around innocently like nobody's business::.
.::above all, a guy who love me would made me laugh even in da most awkward situations::.

sumtimes, i juz hate myself for getting myself in2 dis mess. yes, i do love him but i juz cant stand being on an emotional rollercoaster. 1 day happy, 1 day fight, 1 day sad... its all unbearable. but all i can do is juz 2 blame myself. dis is his personality n character n if i cant change it, den mayb he's juz not willing 2 change it 4 me after all n that i shd juz accept it n move on.